Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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