so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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