Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its not stalking. its research.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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