Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
