Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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