I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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