R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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