i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
