you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
