go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
