i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
