do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
