how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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