Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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