You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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