I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Are my feet made of real feet?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm sobbing to NWA
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
