it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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