i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
