I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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