why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
