Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
