the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
