so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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