the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
