everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
