Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
