We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
