Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
