Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
