he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
