Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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