He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
