you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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