it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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