So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
