i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
