You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
