Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
