At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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