it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
