Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
