im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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