Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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