i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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