White coat. Heels.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
