How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
