okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
