sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
