Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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