What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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