I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
