i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
