Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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