Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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