when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
