I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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