Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
