i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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