why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
