So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
